I have been in a serious relationship for 2 years now, and I have notice a certain pattern on my boyfriend’s behaviour when we have a fight where he’s wrong.
When I get really angry, nervous or hurt that I have to cry, he’s very quick to tell me things like “baby don’t cry, I want us to be happy” or “baby, stop crying I swear I won’t do it again”. That’s some fucked up attitude! If I’m so hurt and angry that I find myself crying in front of you, own it! YOU did this and it’s my right to cry about it.
I don’t have to suck it up and suddenly feel cheerful just to make you feel less guilty about the things you did. It is not a sign of weakness, I don’t walk around crying in front of strangers on the street because I feel sad about something and I’m sure as hell don’t let little things get to me, so if I’m crying in front of you, take responsibility for it.
If you’re enough of a grown up to accept your mistakes and deal with the consequences that comes with them, you will accept that you hurt me or made me so angry that I, an adult strong woman, cried in front of you.
Don’t fucking ask me to stop it, it was your mistake that brought us here so deal with the consequences, deal with me crying, stumping around or not wanting you to kiss me.
Hell, cry with me, feel the pain you caused me and fucking own it as it was yours, I would do the same for you if I was in your position.
Accepting you are wrong and apologizing about it it’s the first step to make make things right, don’t ruin it by asking me to be fine and happy all the time, it would be like spilling milk on the floor, saying you’re sorry and then be mad about the wet floor.
Everyone makes mistakes, when it’s your time to deal with them do it with compassion and understanding, so that you can be part of the healing and not just hurt.